I read a post today on the Huffington post. By the title I knew it wasn’t a wise read – Why Was I Shamed For Having A Girlie Mini-Break Without My Kids? written by Luisa Zissman (did the apprentice a few years back). I knew it wasn’t a wise read because on Saturday I am doing just this; going on a girls holiday and leaving my children at home.
As we edge closer to the big day the mum guilt has started to hit me. Reading that a mum was shamed for a girls trip away just made my insecurities come to the surface even more. Should I be leaving them? Am I selfish to be going abroad when they aren’t? Not to mention the fact that I’ll be missing Lottie’s sports day!
But as these thoughts swamp my head really I just need to shake myself for a minute and remember that I am not only mum but I am a single mum, I work from home and even play chef, taxi and cleaner in the between all of that – I deserve this break. More than that I need this break.
As parent’s (especially mum’s) there seems to be room to shame and judge for just about everything; our decision on how we feed our babies, our decision on whether or not we return to work, even our decision on what we dress our children in nowadays can cause debates.
Before people get their judgey pants on they really ought to take a minute and realise we live our lives with choice and how we each choose to parent is up to us it is not for one person to say what is right and what is wrong.
I know personally, I need a little time apart from my children to be the best parent I can be. I need my down time or I get stressed and overwhelmed with it all. I am not going to feel guilty for that. My children are loved and well looked after, leaving them in the capable hands of the dad for a week will not do them any harm. I will miss them and I am sure they will miss me but when I return I will be once again so excited to see them – time apart is good for us.
I know a lot of people out there won’t agree but it’s fine because it is my decision to make for my family.