Bedtime can be a challenging part of the routine at any age, but most especially with toddlers. From begging for ‘just one more story’ to refusing to leave your bed, there are many obstacles to getting them settled to sleep – then comes the transition to having their own room.
Making the change from co-sleeping or a bedside crib to a cot in a separate bedroom is a gradual process requiring patience, consistency and empathy. Chances are there will be fussing, some crying and several instances of trying to sneak back in with you. It could be a long journey, but if you follow these top tips, your toddler will soon be feeling safe and happy sleeping independently.
Validate any fears
A toddler’s imagination can conjure up a host of irrational thoughts at night, such as finding monsters in shadows and strange noises. This can trigger genuine fear and a stream of worries that prompt them to seek reassurance. Rather than brushing these fears aside or dismissing them as ‘all in their head’, acknowledge them, and help them realise there’s nothing to be scared of such as proving there are no monsters under the bed. Showing understanding and resolving their worries can be a much faster path to them feeling comfortable.
Once you’ve recognised their fears, look for ways to ease them. A nightlight preventing total darkness or a familiar cuddly toy are highly soothing. Small steps like this turn the bedroom into a place of comfort rather than isolation.
Establish a fun routine
Children thrive on and feel safe with predictability, which is why established routines are so important to their development. When bedtime follows a familiar pattern, your toddler’s body learns when to slow down and prepare for rest. It doesn’t have to be overcomplicated either: a bath followed by putting on pyjamas and a bedtime story is all it takes to signal that it’s time for sleep. The warm bath will help to soothe the nervous system too.
Getting your toddler invested in the pre-sleep routine is the real challenge, and this is why it’s best to find ways of making it fun. Directly involving them in the different elements is the easiest way to approach this. For example, let them compose a silly song about brushing your teeth or choose between two bedtime stories. This gives them a sense of control within clear boundaries.
Let them pick their bed
Ownership plays a huge part in building confidence. Put simply, if you involve your child in choosing where they sleep, they’re far more likely to embrace it. Take them to look at beds for kids and let them help choose one that feels special. There are a selection of funky frames and headboards available, with useful design features like in-built drawers and desks that will make life easier for you too! A bed reflecting their personality will act as a soothing cocoon.
Letting them arrange their soft toys or pick a blanket can also provide comfort. The goal isn’t perfection but familiarity. When your toddler feels proud of their bed, they start to associate it with independence rather than separation.
Do it gradually
The hard truth is that very few toddlers switch to sleeping alone overnight. You may have to approach it gradually, starting by staying with them until they fall asleep then slowly phasing this out, changing from sitting on the bed to the chair beside it, then to standing in the doorway until they fall asleep. You’re teaching them that you’re close, but they can manage without constant contact.
If they wake during the night, walk them back to their bed rather than letting them climb in with you. It may take several weeks (and a few tantrums), but consistency is key to ensuring you can all get a good night’s sleep, every night.
