Wondering how to teach your kids about Wills so they understand what happens when someone dies? We explore some tips for this, here…
Talking about death with your kids is never going to be much fun. Regardless, difficult conversations are all part of preparing your children for the future.
It doesn’t matter if your children are still in primary school, or headed to university. It’s important to start open conversations about death, at various stages of their lives.
Younger children might feel afraid of such topics but, unless you address them, these fears will only escalate. If you do not communicate your wishes to older kids, they could end up feeling let down, and even disputing a will. To start teaching your kids about Wills today, here’s everything you need to know.
9 Tips to Discuss Wills with Your Kids
- Find out what they know
Your children might already have some knowledge about Wills. The subject might have come up in the classroom, or perhaps in the playground? Start by asking your children if they know anything about Wills, ask them to explain what they think the word means.
With younger children, it’s important to tread carefully. Little kids are less likely to have come across the term and may find the concept difficult to grasp.
Older children might already have a vague idea of what a Will is. Asking your kids to share their knowledge can serve as a great ice-breaker.
- A light-hearted talk
Discussing the subject of death is never easy, particularly with children. The best way is a light-hearted approach. Speaking too bluntly or directly may upset your kids. It’s crucial to achieve a balance between being honest and remaining sensitive.
Using the right kind of language will help you to communicate delicately. You might focus on light terms like, ‘resting in peace’, ‘passed away, or ‘no longer here’. Communicating with caring language can help you to protect your kids and avoid discomfort.
- Straight forward examples
Naturally, the concept of a Will can be tough for kids to comprehend. When you’re teaching your kids about Wills, it’s useful to give straightforward examples.
You might explain that, as part of your Will, your kids will inherit the family home. You could mention any savings you have, and how these will be passed on in the event of your death.
- Get yourself support
Having difficult conversations with your children can be emotionally draining. When you’re discussing these topics, it’s useful to have support, so ask your partner or another family member to help you.
When you’re teaching your kids about Wills, they might well have some challenging questions. You might not have an answer for everything, so having a second adult present can be a great help.
- Keep it casual
If you can, bring up the subject casually, while you’re going about your daily activities. Sitting your children down for a ‘serious talk’ might give them the idea that something is wrong. You’ll want to avoid making them feel worried, so a casual conversation is preferable.
- Educate yourself
Before you talk to your kids about Wills, it’s worth educating yourself a little. You won’t want to communicate any misinformation, as that may confuse them.
If you’re talking to young children, the chances are you won’t be going into much detail. However, if you’re talking to teenagers, they’ll are likely to have questions. Preparing yourself will leave you in a better position to answer their queries.
When it comes to making a will, it’s important to do your research.
- Find resources to help
When you’re teaching your children about Wills and death, it’s helpful to have a few resources. These children’s books about grief are a great place to start:
Let’s Talk About When Someone Dies by Molly Potter
This book is a useful tool for talking to kids about death, and what comes next. If you’re keen to start an honest conversation, but you’re worried about upsetting your kids, this is the perfect resource.
Loss In the Clouds by Tom-Tinn Dinsbury
Loss In The Cloud is a sensitive and moving book, which gently illustrates the topic of loss. Using this book, you can approach the subject cautiously.
Why Do Things Die by Katie Daynes
Katie Daynes takes kids on a journey to explore ‘the circle of life’. These cute animal characters will help your children learn about death, and get to grips with their emotions.
- Consider expectations
Older children might have certain expectations about your Will, particularly university-age kids. They might have assumptions about what they’ll receive when you pass away, and what their siblings will receive.
When you’re discussing your Will, you’ll need to consider these expectations. You might start by explaining your plans. Next, you can ask for their opinion.
Older children might have certain wishes. You might not necessarily adhere to your child’s wants, but it’s important to have an open discussion.
- Talk to your kids separately
If you have more than one child, you may wish to speak to your kids separately. When you’re catering to different age groups and personalities, solo conversations are beneficial. You’ll want your kids to feel as comfortable as possible. Having a sibling there might mean they feel embarrassed to ask certain questions.
Wills can sometimes cause tension between siblings, for example, if one child receives a significantly larger portion of your estate. Generally speaking, it’s better to ensure an equal split, unless there are underlying circumstances.
Ready to Discuss Wills with Your Kids?
Educating your kids is about balancing honesty and sensitivity. Taking about Wills might be hard, but these conversations do need to happen. As your child gets older, you’ll gradually be able to give them more detailed information.
When approaching the topic with younger kids, be sure to keep it simple and light. Whether it’s using children’s books or getting support from your spouse, there are many ways to make these conversations easier.
Dealing with these subjects in a sensitive way will help you to protect your child’s mental health along the way.
