Dating again?

I was single for almost 2 years. For the first year I didn’t date – at all. I was so done with men all I wanted to do was focus on my little girls, my friends and work. For a time I didn’t think I would ever want to date again. Then I did.

I started dating, a big scary step after being with the same man since I was 16. Dating before then was a bag of chips in the park while you avoid eye contact. I went out on a few dinner or coffee dates even started seeing someone for a few months it didn’t work –  they weren’t for me, I wasn’t for them.

One thing I realised with those dates and by seeing my friends experiences is dating is brutal.

I know my dating past doesn’t count but it never used to be this hard, everyone I have spoken to agrees. Back in the day boy met girl, they got together, the rest is history. Nowadays it is a completely different kettle of fish.

You swipe like on one another based solely on a few photos. No-one is seeing or speaking to just the one person because the rule is – do not put all your eggs in one basket. Oh the rules, the rules of dating. Don’t text first, don’t reply too quickly, don’t you dare send a cute emoji you seem too keen and do not under any circumstances let on you actually are into them.
These rules are designed to stop yourself from getting hurt when evidently what they actually do is stop anything from progressing past the ‘I’ll reply to him in 3 days’ stage.

I’ve actually written this post before when I was in the midst of dating and tindering (ugh god yeah I admit it – half the single population is on it so don’t judge). When I wrote it up before I sounded like a bit of a walking disaster zone with a distinct hate of the male population. I’m not – I think for the most part I have my shit together.

What I have come to realise since is; it wasn’t me, it wasn’t them. It’s just the fact we were not right for each other. Had we met in a more traditional way we probably would have never entertained the idea of going on a date. The thing about the internet and social media is you can portray yourself in any way you like. You can be the laid back, fun loving girl. He can be the considerate I want to settle down and ‘no you having kids isn’t an issue at all’. What you get in real life can sometimes be the complete opposite!

And now? Now I am in a relationship. Cliche but I stopped looking and then there he was. He’s not perfect, nor am I but he’s pretty perfect to me. There were no games, no shall I text back yet, no what does this mean. We just worked and we’re happy.

I learnt a lot from my dipping my toe in the dating pool, mostly that social media has killed it, but my advice if you are going through it – just enjoy meeting new people and having fun with your friends. Being single is really not that bad. Wasting time stressing in the search for Mr right is just that a waste of time, he’s out there.

He’ll hate this because I put dog ears on him. Soz babe.

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  1. March 13, 2017 / 8:05 am

    Love this Amy and I also love that you put dog ears on him, know he’ll ‘hate it’ but he won’t really because he’s fab!
    Karen recently posted…Monday EscapesMy Profile

  2. March 13, 2017 / 8:40 am

    Ha ha. I’m really happy for you lovely. Dating does sound so stressful. But I’m glad you relaxed and had fun and met someone lovely. And I love the fact that you put dog ears on him. Hugs Lucy xxxx
    Mrs H recently posted…5 Life Lessons from La La LandMy Profile

  3. March 13, 2017 / 9:44 am

    Amy it sounds so bloody hard these days, I too was young when I met Chris so like you wouldn’t know where to start. I think being a really direct person I would really struggle. I am so pleased you have met someone lovely xx

  4. March 13, 2017 / 10:19 am

    Glad it worked out ok. I met my partner through, I was really scared at the prospect of dating but so glad I was brave and tried it as I have have a wonderful man and we have a child together

  5. March 13, 2017 / 4:39 pm

    Aww I’m so pleased that you’ve met someone and are happy. Dating seems hideous these days. I’ve been with my husband 10 years now and I can’t imagine having to deal with the likes of tinder and POF. I think the fact that you have means he’s probably even more of a keeper xx
    Sarah Cantwell recently posted…Pregnancy Update – 31 WeeksMy Profile

  6. March 13, 2017 / 4:43 pm

    I met my husband (10 years together now) when I wasn’t looking. It works out how it is meant to be in the end I think!

  7. March 13, 2017 / 5:38 pm

    Love this. I’ve been a single mum for two years and have just started dating again. It’s scary and so different! Glad you have found happiness.

  8. March 13, 2017 / 6:20 pm

    So happy for you lovely. Dating again is so hard. I am just thankful that I had a friend with a nice single male friend otherwise I would probably still be single and childless.

  9. March 13, 2017 / 7:26 pm

    I’ve been with my husband for 11 years, so haven’t thought about how dating would be now – but I get you, I think it would be so hard with social media and all the ‘rules’. Glad you’ve found a good one, they are out there 🙂 xx
    Rebecca | AAUBlog recently posted…6 Mistakes People Make With Patterns In Their DecorMy Profile

  10. March 13, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    I was single and on the dating scene for 5 years before I met my (now) husband. It’s hard work I agree. You have to kiss a lot of frogs. I was before Tinder but I’ve heard of it. I actually met my husband through an online dating site. But my advice to friends dating now is always – fork out for the sites you have to pay for – the calabre is better and you’re more likely to find someone
    Looking for a relationship! Kate

  11. March 13, 2017 / 8:36 pm

    Ah it’s so lovely that you’ve found someone now and you seem very happy! I met Ed when I was least expecting it (I was actually in an unhappy marriage at the time) but everything happens for a reason and now I couldn’t be happier x

  12. March 13, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    I think dating is so much more stressful that it was. Glad you are happy x

  13. March 14, 2017 / 12:46 am

    A great post and so happy you found the one it just clicks with.
    Lindsey recently posted…Tea and GloryMy Profile

  14. March 14, 2017 / 3:46 pm

    You are one brave lady! The dating environment sounds like a crazy, absurd contradiction of ridiculous rules. On the plus side you found your Mr Right, now enjoy yourself xxx
    Heledd – Running in Lavender recently posted…My Decleor Top PicksMy Profile

  15. March 14, 2017 / 9:07 pm

    Oh my goodness you give me hope, wading through the dating pool is hard work :/

    • Amy
      March 15, 2017 / 10:16 am

      It’s not the best but just enjoy your single time! xx

  16. March 14, 2017 / 9:33 pm

    Ah yay I’m so glad you’re happy sweetie! I met Phil online but like you say, no games. I didn’t want a boyfriend (or a fling or anything!) but there he was and that was it. Bet he loves he dog ears really hehe xx

    • Amy
      March 15, 2017 / 10:14 am

      Oh no he’s currently in Japan and text me just saying… the dog ears hahaha. Thanks love xx

  17. March 15, 2017 / 12:55 pm

    aww its so lovely to see you so happy Amy, it def can take time to meet someone special.. I’ve def had some awful relationships looking back! me an Gray met 10years ago on ha!

  18. March 15, 2017 / 10:46 pm

    Love this. Look how happy you look in that picture. It’s lovely to see. Gosh dating now would scare me with all the internet malarkey. X

  19. May 4, 2017 / 1:16 pm

    I just had to read this based on the picture you posted on twitter. Oddly, I can sooooo relate to it. These days I am married with two kids but about 10 years ago I went through a divorce and found myself dating for the first time since I was in my teens. Wow had things changed. You didn’t *call* someone after a date. You sent them a text. Tinder wasn’t about then, but Internet dating was and everyone was doing it, even if they weren’t open about it. I guess I caught the first wave of digital involvement in dating. You’re catching the second, or maybe even third. the issues sound remarkably similar!

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