Friday bought me and my family some terrible news.
My grandad who had been fighting kidney problems for years had lost his battle, I knew he was poorly but I just never thought someone who’d once been so strong would ever leave us.
It hit me hard a lot harder than I ever thought it would, we spoke by email almost weekly but I only saw them about once a year as they live a good few hours away and in recent years with his health problems and me having the girls it’s not always been the easy.
I wish I’d made more time now.
I regret not making it down to Cornwall more often, it was one of those things – “soon we’ll go..” but soon kept being put off.
Although I am glad he is no longer suffering, it doesn’t make it any easier, I’ve never lost anyone close to me before so it really has hit me like a ton of bricks.
If one good thing comes out of this, it has really put things into perspective for me, life’s to short I need to look after myself more and be the best I can for my girls, live for today and enjoy ourselves as much as we can, spend time with those who mean the most to me – friends and family, take chances – push my limits and stop playing it safe.
My grandad would hate me to be sad and I really hate my girls seeing me upset so I’m trying to be strong for them.
It will get easier I know it will but I’ll never forget and the fun memories of child hood holiday’s with them in their house by the sea, they will stay with me forever.