Loss And Love

Friday bought me and my family some terrible news.

My grandad who had been fighting kidney problems for years had lost his battle, I knew he was poorly but I just never thought someone who’d once been so strong would ever leave us.

It hit me hard a lot harder than I ever thought it would, we spoke by email almost weekly but I only saw them about once a year as they live a good few hours away and in recent years with his health problems and me having the girls it’s not always been the easy.

I wish I’d made more time now.

I regret not making it down to Cornwall more often, it was one of those things – “soon we’ll go..” but soon kept being put off.

Although I am glad he is no longer suffering, it doesn’t make it any easier, I’ve never lost anyone close to me before so it really has hit me like a ton of bricks.

If one good thing comes out of this, it has really put things into perspective for me, life’s to short I need to look after myself more and be the best I can for my girls, live for today and enjoy ourselves as much as we can, spend time with those who mean the most to me – friends and family, take chances – push my limits and stop playing it safe.

My grandad would hate me to be sad and I really hate my girls seeing me upset so I’m trying to be strong for them.

It will get easier I know it will but I’ll never forget and the fun memories of child hood holiday’s with them in their house by the sea, they will stay with me forever.


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  1. May 25, 2015 / 9:57 am

    Aaah pet — I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Having just lost my nana literally the week before your grandad passed away, I totally understand these feelings. Death is so hard to come to terms with, even though it’s inevitable. Just remember the good times and be happy that your lovely grandad is no longer in pain or suffering. Lots of love xx

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
    Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…114 weeks and 2 days | Getting to know me | A vlogMy Profile

    • Amy
      May 25, 2015 / 8:36 pm

      Thanks hun I will do hope your doing okay xxx
      Amy recently posted…Loss And LoveMy Profile

  2. May 25, 2015 / 10:00 am

    Ah lovely lady, that’s lovely. It’s always good to take stock of life values. Your grandad sounds like he was a lovely man and very strong. He’ll be watching over you all. Sending lots of hugs and love gorgeous. Xxx
    Kat | Beau TwinS recently posted…My Captured Moment 21/05/2015My Profile

    • Amy
      May 25, 2015 / 8:36 pm

      He was, thank it means alot xx
      Amy recently posted…Loss And LoveMy Profile

  3. May 25, 2015 / 8:00 pm

    So sorry for your loss my lovely. It’s terrible when people are taken from us quickly. You’ll always have your memories of those happy times and remember those to comfort you. Big love x
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    • Amy
      May 25, 2015 / 8:38 pm

      they will do thank you for your lovely comment karen x
      Amy recently posted…Loss And LoveMy Profile

  4. Such a terrible feeling when you lose a loved one, and that feeling of regret I remember well with my Grandmother. Wishing I’d made more of an effort to do the long trip more often. It is normal to have all these feelings and it is OK to let your children see that mummy can hurt sometimes and that mummy will get through it. Just be kind to yourself right now, focus on those wonderful memories and take some time out for you. Take care lovely xx
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  5. May 26, 2015 / 11:29 am

    I know what it is like to loose loved ones. I had lost both my parents by the time I was 29 yrs old.

    My dad’s death hit me the hardest. He was a truck driver and he got caught between his truck and a parked trailer. He was killed instantly. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. My mother died 25 years ago from cancer. It has been hard without them and there I times I do miss them. All you can do during this time, is to get on with your life in the way they would want you to. As hard as that maybe, deep down that is something I know my parents wanted me to do.
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  6. May 27, 2015 / 8:46 pm

    Oh Amy – huge hugs to you. I lost my Daddy 2 and a bit years ago, and grief is such a hard thing to handle.

    Don’t worry about your girls seeing you cry – you loved your Grandad and you are going to miss him, this is a valuable lesson to your girls that being sad about someone dying is normal and often to be expected.

    Take care of yourself and lots of love xxxxxx
    Megan – Truly madly kids recently posted…TMK Go – Barcelona. The diary of a family adventure.My Profile

  7. May 29, 2015 / 12:03 am

    Oh lovely Amy. Losing a loved one is always so hard. And it is always easy to begin to feel guilty and that we didn’t make more of an effort to spend time with them. But it sounds like you had a lovely relationship with him. And that your Grandad was proud of the woman and mother you have become. Stay strong lovely and hug your gorgeous girls all the tighter. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
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  8. May 30, 2015 / 7:44 pm

    Oh lovely lady, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember when my Grandad died and it was a real shock, even more so that we didn’t see it coming. Sadly, I’ve lost a few close relatives now, including my Dad but it never does get easier. Each one is a ,assive blow. You are so right that life is too short. Hope you are doing ok. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
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