18 Guarantee’s Of Parenthood

The journey of parenthood is a little nuts too say the least once you think you’ve got it down to a tee and a routine well and truly in place BAM! They’ll throw you a curve ball and it’ll all go down the pan, there aren’t many things you can guarantee will happen when becoming a parent but I have a few I would put money on have happened to you at least once!

18 Guarantee'sOf  Parenthood

  1. You’ll eat your kids left over’s and call it lunch – I always forget to feed myself how bad is that but lets face it they have about one or two bites and then claim they hate it anyways better than wasting it!
  2. You’ll worrya lot about everything
  3. Jam in the hair – might be your hair might be their’s but you can bet it’ll happen to someone.
  4. Raisin’s will drive you mental, little buggers seem to get everywhere but they’re so god damn convenient that you just can’t stop buying them.
  5. You’ll meet THAT mum at least once, you know the ones you hear about that know it all and child can speak latin at a year old (yes her)
  6. Kid’s will wake before the birds – unless it’s a school day or a day you need to get up at 6am then of corse they’ll sleep in till 8.
  7. You will do the school run on with your T-shirt on back to front – just me? oh shit
  8. You’ll fall in love with disney all over again – You can try and resist but it’ll happen one day you will find yourself singing in the car to lion king – kids aren’t even with you and the person pulled up next to you is giving you the strangest look as you bellow out ‘Just can’t want to be king’ but you can’t help your self.
  9. A lot of time will be spent removing stickers from walls and furniture – it kept them quiet for 10 mins seemed worth it at the time.
  10. You will discover the hard way that play doh and carpet doesn’t mix.
  11. IF (big IF) you ever find the bottom of your laundry basket you will do a little victory dance – sorry to burst your bubble but it’ll be full again within the hour but you know it happened so thats all that matters.
  12. You’ll have a go at sensory play and immediately regret it – I’m still finding rice 3 weeks after the last time – don’t tell you that on pintrest do they!!
  13. Baby wipes will be your best friend – you will wander how you ever survived without them in the past and never leave the house without them again.
  14. The word mess will take on a whole new meaning – If you are not a parent you have no idea what your in for toddlers have a special power which allows them to turn a room upside down in 3 minutes.
  15. You’ll go to a public toilet and just forget to close the door – its a rare luxury now to pee without an audience (don’t worry I realised before it was too late!)
  16. You’ll laugh when your kid does something they shouldn’t – you know when they walk in the room with a face full of your make up they’ve been ‘playing’ with or they cover their poor baby sister in sudocreme – you know you shouldn’t but it’s fricking hilarious.IMG_6791
  17. You’ll take photo’s and be planning how to use them as revenge when they turn 18! – bit like the one above!
  18. You will find your self asking some very odd questions 
    Did you just put that raisin up your nose?
    Can you stop eating paper?
    Why are you taking a mango to nursery?

So have you done all these things? let me know if you have any more to add in the comment’s! 

Mami 2 Five

17 Comments

  1. April 16, 2015 / 7:45 pm

    Amy I LOVE this! Ha ha ha. That photograph above is amazing. So funny. OMG I am so glad I’m not the only one scraping stickers off doors and floors. WTF? Lol, really love this post xx

    • April 16, 2015 / 8:17 pm

      haha what are they like kids just stick them to anything other than the book theyre supposed to put them in!! x
      Amy recently posted…18 Guarantee’s Of ParenthoodMy Profile

  2. April 16, 2015 / 8:10 pm

    hahaha! Love it…What a great list and it’s all so true!
    A few months ago I did the school run with two different boots on…They looked similar but were no where near a pair. Oops!
    Kim Carberry recently posted…Why I prefer to shop online….My Profile

  3. April 17, 2015 / 5:53 am

    Ha ha to number 7. I went out of the house with my slippers on loads, only raising when I got to the shop!

  4. April 17, 2015 / 12:18 pm

    Love this list – all so funny and true! #TheList

  5. April 17, 2015 / 9:48 pm

    Ahhh this is so funny. I have lots of these things still to come but raisins everywhere? Yep, know that feeling.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

  6. April 17, 2015 / 10:43 pm

    yes, the raisins – they get everywhere don’t they!!! I’m always finding them at the bottom of my bag….yuck yuck!! xx

  7. April 18, 2015 / 7:59 pm

    Amy I love this, the raisin thing oh so true, Joe once got one stuck up his nose and had to go to hospital to get it taken out. I love this post, oh and I still buy wet wipes every week ha ha x
    Sarah Christie recently posted…Happy Days, My Weekly RoundupMy Profile

  8. April 20, 2015 / 10:07 am

    Haha, laughed out loud at most of these on the list – bloody playdoh! Thanks for sharing x #TheList
    Suzanne recently posted…My Sunday Top 5My Profile

  9. April 23, 2015 / 12:42 pm

    What a list!! The bit about the sensory stuff and finding rice long after the even made me LOL!! Brill stuff, thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

  10. April 25, 2015 / 7:11 pm

    Ha ha! I love this list and it definitely rings a lot of bells. I curse the day I ever started doing craft using glitter with Little Miss H. That stuff gets everywhere and makes the whole flat sparkle. Also, sad to say I’ve gone to bed with a lot worse than jam in my hair. In my defence, Little Miss H was five days old and I was exhausted and beyond caring. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
    Mrs H recently posted…My week in pictures #1My Profile

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