Do others opinions really matter?

My whole life I have been a real over thinker, I sit and let the same thoughts go round and round in my head getting myself worked up and one of the biggest thoughts and concerns is always what will other people think.

When I found out I was expecting Lottie – yes my third child aged 21, I was terrified not at the thought of pregnancy, labour and not and the prospect of another child to juggle, no I was more concerned with what others would think about it. Would I be judged? Would people talk behind my back?

I shared my concern’s with close friends and family who all said the same thing “why do you care?” Anyone whose opinion actually mattered to me would support us whether it was our third or fifth child, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling – I wasn’t ashamed, I was over the moon I’ve always wanted a big family but it’s left me feeling like I always need to prove a point:

I can do this by myself 

I don’t need your help 

When in reality all parents at some point need a little help and I’m starting to see that now – no one who knows me would judge if I dare have an evening off and head off out with the girls, no one will care if they come over and the breakfast dishes still aren’t done and if they do well quite frankly I now know I honestly don’t care!

I’ve spent far too much time in the past worrying about the small thing’s that really shouldn’t matter, realising this has made such a big difference it feels like a weight has been lifted I have enough to do each day keeping my three little princesses happy with out trying to please everyone else.

I’ve seen that no matter what you do it won’t suit everyone and that’s okay -I’m happy my children are happy we do what is right for us. What works for one won’t for the other I love the fact that I have three little girls all close in age but I know its not for everyone.

 

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16 Comments

  1. February 11, 2015 / 10:40 am

    Opinions can be useful to hear if you need to think of something in someone else’s viewpoint and get a fresh perspective. However, they are just opinions, not the law, so take them with a pinch of salt and absorb the bits you agree with. Your opinion is the only one that matters for you and your life. You are doing a great job, who cares what anyone else may or may not think. x

  2. February 11, 2015 / 10:24 pm

    You are a fantastic Mummy and have 3 beautiful children. Who cares how old people are? All that matters is love. I wish I could have had my children earlier, and I may have had more. However age is purely a number. Don’t worry what other people think, do what’s right for you and your family and that will shine. Great post from you Amy and love the honesty of this post. Jess xx

  3. February 13, 2015 / 8:40 am

    I think other people’s opinions are fine – if you ASK for them. Like Katy said, they can provide fresh perspective or a more experienced view point… but as long as things are working for you and your family and everyone’s happy and healthy, who cares? Sounds to me like you’re doing a great job. 🙂

  4. February 13, 2015 / 9:52 am

    Bless you – it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks – but, as an over sensitive, over thinker I get where you’re coming from. I’m twice your age and still feel like this! I had my fourth baby at 41 and actually was so happy I didn’t care what anyone else thought! I have felt more comfortable since being 40 😀 #binkylinky

  5. February 13, 2015 / 3:46 pm

    As the saying goes, you can’t please all of the people all of the time – nor should you even try to. People’s opinions are there to be listened to, but you can take them or leave them – and there are some people’s opinions who I would certainly value more than others’.

    I do feel that too often people are quick to judge what they see/hear/read about but slow to try to understand or to accept that just because what someone does isn’t how they would do it doesn’t necessarily make it wrong. But then some people are determined to justify to themselves that they are somehow better than everyone else …

  6. February 13, 2015 / 7:28 pm

    I think people will form opinions of you and your choices no matter what you do in life. It is hard sometimes but you just have to focus on yourself and what you want, and there may be some opinions you value, but the rest don’t matter x

  7. February 13, 2015 / 9:38 pm

    There are some extraordinarily judgey people out there, and parenting issues do seem to press their buttons particularly. But on the other hand, there are an awful lot of people who aren’t.

    I had my kids quite late. My choice. I can certainly see the advantages in being a younger mother though. There is a lot to be said for just cracking on with it.

    Glad you are feeling more able to rise above it all now anyway!

  8. February 13, 2015 / 9:40 pm

    I had my kids quite late, which was by choice, but I can certainly see there’s a lot to be said for just cracking on with it when you are younger. I certainly wouldn’t judge. Actually, I rather admire you.

    Glad you feel able to rise above it more now.

  9. February 14, 2015 / 3:26 pm

    Lovely post; it’s so hard when you do feel judged. And I think the chances are you will as everyone seems to have an opinion or judgment on something whether its you had kids too young, too old, too close together, too far apart, you named them something traditional, unique, too celebrity, you are a helicopter paren, you let your kids have free reign. Sigh. I think I’ve just given up and like you will just continue working on what works for us as a family! x

  10. February 15, 2015 / 1:48 pm

    People will always have opinions on everything – you just have to learn to ignore! As long as you can provide for ah love your children, it doesn’t matter what age you are!! #sundaystars

  11. February 15, 2015 / 5:59 pm

    I’m an over thinker too and I can really relate to this post. I get too hung up on what others think, but like you say not everything I do will suit everyone. Thanks for linking up the #BinkyLinky

  12. February 15, 2015 / 8:14 pm

    opinions are just that, peoples opinions, I find they are useful when I ask for them!

    #sundaystars

  13. February 17, 2015 / 9:06 pm

    Good on you lovely! The only person whose opinion counts is YOURS!
    Your life, your rules and don’t ever forget it or apologise for it.
    Brilliant post xxx

    • February 18, 2015 / 4:27 pm

      Thanks hun your so right!

  14. February 19, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    I am just the same – I really do worry about what people think of me! At the end of the day what really matters is you and how you feel though. Sod the rest of them! Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x

  15. February 21, 2015 / 11:40 pm

    I used to worry what people think and I still do when it comes to me personally but with my son I just don’t care, I know I’m a great mum and anyone who thinks otherwise can jog on! People will always have opinions, you can’t please everyone! Your girls always look so lovely and happy in your photos so its obvious you’re doing a great job x

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