parenting torture

Some days I do question whether my sweet innocent children are in fact that or mini trained assassins put on the earth to torture me.

Firstly it’s the sleep deprivation 4:50 was not the time I wanted to be woken up this morning but now that they out number us it is completely impossible to get them back to sleep. Until of course I’m up an then about half 6-7 they’ll have an hours nap.

Then once up I have to watch 3 of the most anoying things I have ever had to deal with – no not the children, but Alvin and the sodding chimpmunks. The new obsession in this house I have to watch it every day! Who ever created these squeaking little rodents clearly hates people and the fact the always take the disc out of the DVD player an put their grubby mitts all over it, it now sticks and skips which just adds to the fun of it.
Now I don’t ask for a long luxurious shower just a quick 5 minutes to get my self clean or 10 if I can’t get away with the dry shampoo again to wash my hair, but my children have found a new way to torture me in the shower so now they take it in turns to flush the toliet whilst I’m showering so I’m either scalded or frozen and while I wail they fall about themselves laughing – pure evil. 
Then there’s the mind games to try an break me half an hour of I’m hungry – until lunch when there presented with something decent they decide it’s time to play because after 2 mouthfuls they’ve had enough. After a while of trying and encouraging you take it away to hear the chorus’s of I’m hungry again 2 minutes later.

There’s a new game they have invented “the turtle” sound good? this game was created with one purpose to try and destroy my soul. If i say the words “hurry up” or “quickly” they shout TURTLE and go as slow as humanly possible, it is least helpful when trying to go up stairs with a giant mound of washing – my arms are about to fall off and these to are turtling (technical term) up the stairs in front.
Lastly there’s the mess the constant mess and there ability to find anything the shouldn’t have and proceed to rip or jump on It. The way at bath time they try to remove as much water from the bath as possible an if they can get the hands on a bottle of shampoo or bubble bath they immediately squirt it all over the floor to cause maximum destruction. The sticker books I buy almost weekly that are then stuck everywhere but the book.


They were so sweet



 

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7 Comments

  1. July 14, 2014 / 9:30 pm

    Haha I hate those chipmunks too, loved this post. Thanks for linking up x

  2. October 4, 2014 / 8:08 pm

    Oh I am so sorry to say but your post made me laugh out loud!

  3. October 23, 2014 / 5:21 pm

    Lol… sounds like my life! Ugh the sleep deprivation is a killer. And the stickers!!!! Why just why xx

  4. October 23, 2014 / 5:47 pm

    Bloody hate stickers!
    The grandparents always buy them and say how good they are with them -yeah until they go and then pull them out of the book and deposit them everywhere! Aaargh!

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